GROW UP  —  Am I the only one embarrassed by the dingbat brouhaha over Iranian President Ahmadinejad's attempt to visit Ground Zero to lay a wreath?  Given relations between our countries I could see denying him a visa, but as long as we're hosting the UN that's not an option.

How Dare You!  —  Goodness gracious. oh, my paws and whiskers.  Some of the meanest, most ornery hombres around are suddenly feeling faint.  Notorious tough guys are swooning with the vapors.  The biggest beasts in the barnyard are all aflutter over something they read in the New York Times.

Middle East Volcano  —  On Sept. 6, something important happened in northern Syria.  Problem is, no one knows exactly what.  Except for those few who were involved, and they're not saying.  —  We do know that Israel carried out an airstrike.  How do we know it was important?

How George Bush became the new Saddam  —  COVER STORY: Its strategies shattered, a desperate Washington is reaching out to the late dictator's henchmen.  —  It was embarrassing putting my flak jacket on backwards and sideways, but in the darkness of the Baghdad airport car park I couldn't see anything.

Courage for Dan Rather  —  Gee, just when I was all excited about Wednesday's big premiere of the new CBS cultural triumph Kid Nation, my old friend Dan Rather went and blew my whole evening out of the water by filing a massive lawsuit against the company.  —  Here we go again.

Wes Clark Interview, Part One: The Petraeus Ad  —  If anyone can recommend an audio hosting service, please email me at stoller at gmail.com so I can post the audio file of the interview.  —  I just did an interview with Wes Clark, and there's a bunch of newsworthy stuff in there …

$6 Billion in Contracts Reviewed, Pentagon Says  —  Military officials said Thursday that contracts worth $6 billion to provide essential supplies to American troops in Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan — including food, water and shelter — were under review by criminal investigators …

Obama Betrays Us, Of Course  —  In Dante's Inferno, the Opportunists were "the people who refused to take sides on the whole good vs. evil thing, but just looked after themselves.  As a result, they're doomed to forever run after a banner while being stung by wasps and hornets... These people aren't technically in hell.

Countdown Special Comment: The President Of Hypocrisy  —  In light of President Bush's disgraceful presser today, Keith Olbermann decided to make a Special Comment on tonight's Countdown and wow, did he make the most of it.  Olbermann blasts the president for his cowardly and un-American behavior …

In 9/11 Chaos, Giuliani Forged a Lasting Image  —  That first tower toppled at 9:59 a.m., a billion pounds of steel and concrete and bodies raining down.  Smoke billowed like thunderheads, and New York's mayor seemed to disappear into death's maw.  —  Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani was two blocks …

FBI Tapes Stevens Calls As Part of Sting  —  WASHINGTON (AP) — The FBI, working with an Alaska oil contractor, secretly taped telephone calls with Sen. Ted Stevens as part of a public corruption sting, according to people close to the investigation.  —  The secret recordings suggest …

Do Not Call listings to expire in 2008  —  WASHINGTON - The cherished dinner hour void of telemarketers could vanish next year for millions of people when phone numbers begin dropping off the national Do Not Call list.  —  The Federal Trade Commission, which oversees the list, says there is a simple fix.