How Dare You!  —  Goodness gracious. oh, my paws and whiskers.  Some of the meanest, most ornery hombres around are suddenly feeling faint.  Notorious tough guys are swooning with the vapors.  The biggest beasts in the barnyard are all aflutter over something they read in the New York Times.

GROW UP  —  Am I the only one embarrassed by the dingbat brouhaha over Iranian President Ahmadinejad's attempt to visit Ground Zero to lay a wreath?  Given relations between our countries I could see denying him a visa, but as long as we're hosting the UN that's not an option.

Middle East Volcano  —  On Sept. 6, something important happened in northern Syria.  Problem is, no one knows exactly what.  Except for those few who were involved, and they're not saying.  —  We do know that Israel carried out an airstrike.  How do we know it was important?

Iraqi alliances spread, U.S. says  —  Most of the major tribes in a strategic province northeast of Baghdad have signed agreements to support U.S. and Iraqi forces, a sign the alliance-building initiative that started in Anbar province is spreading.  —  In Diyala province …

Sheikdom shakedown: Dubai moves on Nasdaq  —  Arab ownership of U.S. stock exchange raises flag in Congress  —  In a complex set of transactions, Dubai is moving to acquire 19.9 percent of the Nasdaq in New York, placing the Arab government in an ownership position of the key U.S. stock exchange and raising concerns in Congress.

Guards' Shots Not Provoked, Iraq Concludes  —  Iraq's Ministry of Interior has concluded that employees of a private American security firm fired an unprovoked barrage in the shooting last Sunday in which at least eight Iraqis were killed and is proposing a radical reshaping of the way American diplomats …

$6 Billion in Contracts Reviewed, Pentagon Says  —  Military officials said Thursday that contracts worth $6 billion to provide essential supplies to American troops in Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan — including food, water and shelter — were under review by criminal investigators …

Do Not Call listings to expire in 2008  —  WASHINGTON - The cherished dinner hour void of telemarketers could vanish next year for millions of people when phone numbers begin dropping off the national Do Not Call list.  —  The Federal Trade Commission, which oversees the list, says there is a simple fix.

Courage for Dan Rather  —  Gee, just when I was all excited about Wednesday's big premiere of the new CBS cultural triumph Kid Nation, my old friend Dan Rather went and blew my whole evening out of the water by filing a massive lawsuit against the company.  —  Here we go again.

Obama Betrays Us, Of Course  —  In Dante's Inferno, the Opportunists were "the people who refused to take sides on the whole good vs. evil thing, but just looked after themselves.  As a result, they're doomed to forever run after a banner while being stung by wasps and hornets... These people aren't technically in hell.

New Democrats  —  With the curtains finally closing on the limited engagement of Waiting for Petraeus, and Republicans feeling emboldened by the diversion his testimony created (and the cover it gave them for continuing to "stay the course"), Democrats in Congress are searching once again for a strategy on Iraq.