New York Post Chimp Cartoon Compares Stimulus Author To Dead Primate  —  A cartoon likening the author of the stimulus bill, perhaps President Barack Obama, with a rabid chimpanzee graced the pages of the New York Post on Wednesday.  —  The drawing, from famed cartoonist Sean Delonas …

White House: Obama Opposes ‘Fairness Doctrine’ Revival  —  A White House spokesman tells FOXNews.com President Obama opposes any move to bring back the so-called Fairness Doctrine.  —  FOXNews.com  —  President Obama opposes any move to bring back the so-called Fairness Doctrine, a spokesman told FOXNews.com Wednesday.

Report: Hitchens beaten by pro-Syrian thugs in Beirut?  Update: “I was on the ground and getting it in the head”  —  Look on the bright side: This'll make for one hell of a Slate column once he gets back.  —  I can only assume they didn't recognize him, as the opportunity to scalp …

Dems abandon Burris  —  Sen. Roland Burris is rapidly losing any political support he once had among colleagues, with Democrats from the statehouse to the White House raising questions about his entanglements with ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.  —  On Wednesday afternoon …

KANSAS GOVERNOR IS SEEN AS TOP CHOICE FOR HEALTH  —  WASHINGTON — Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas, an early Obama ally with a record of working across party lines, is emerging as the president's top choice for secretary of health and human services, advisers said Wednesday.

Holder: ‘Nation of cowards’ on race  —  Attorney General Eric Holder said Wednesday that despite advances, the United States remains “a nation of cowards” on issues involving race.  —  “Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial …

Earmark Scandal Breaking  —  There's a potentially big story brewing on Capitol Hill... Apparently 104 members of Congress of both parties — 42 Republicans and 62 Democrats — secured earmarks for a lobbying firm linked to Rep. John Murtha (D-PA) in a single bill.

Student Expectations Seen as Causing Grade Disputes  —  Prof. Marshall Grossman has come to expect complaints whenever he returns graded papers in his English classes at the University of Maryland.  —  “Many students come in with the conviction that they've worked hard and deserve a higher mark,” Professor Grossman said.

Headless Body in Legless Story  —  Kathryn, that self-pitying imam is part of a now familiar pattern: Pay no attention to that dead body; the real victim here is Islam.  —  Beheaded woman in Buffalo?  “Shocked friend says murder damages Islam's image.”  —  Hindus, Jews and Christians massacred in Bombay?

Note, Mike Allen Fans Flag Non-Story  —  The Washington Times has a story trying to make a big deal out of the fact that Barack Obama often appears with American flags in public: “Look.  It's President Obama, and he's surrounded by American flags,” the piece said.

ND House Passes Abortion Ban  —  North Dakota's House of Representatives has passed a bill effectively outlawing abortion.  —  The House voted 51-41 this afternoon to declare that a fertilized egg has all the rights of any person.  —  That means a fetus could not be legally aborted without the procedure being considered murder.

GOP governors consider turning down stimulus money  —  BATON ROUGE, La. - A handful of Republican governors are considering turning down some money from the federal stimulus package, a move opponents say puts conservative ideology ahead of the needs of constituents struggling with record foreclosures and soaring unemployment.

CA Lt. Gov. Garamendi: GOP an infection ‘spreading across the nation’ : Updated  —  The Republicans in the California legislature are trying to close down the entire state.  As everyone across America watches with awe how f*&ked up these idiot Republican politicians are acting …

E.P.A. Expected to Regulate Carbon Dioxide  —  WASHINGTON — The Environmental Protection Agency is expected to act for the first time to regulate carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases that scientists blame for the warming of the planet, according to top Obama administration officials.

More scenes from Mesa: “I need a beachfront condo, Mr. President!”  —  I love this.  At the Mesa AZ protest against President Obama today, KFYI listeners brought signs telling Santa Obama what they wanted from the savior-based economy.  Hats off to KFYI's Bruce Jacobs and J.D. Hayworth.

Sam Donaldson: Media to End Kid Gloves With Obama  —  President Barack Obama has yet to get his feet on the ground.  George H. W. Bush is underrated, while John F. Kennedy is overrated.  Ronald Reagan did indeed help to end the Cold War.  And while he may have been a crook …

UBS Reaches Deal Over Offshore Services  —  In the hush-hush world of Swiss banking, the unthinkable is happening: secrets are spilling into the open.  —  UBS, the largest bank in Switzerland, agreed on Wednesday to divulge the names of well-heeled Americans whom the authorities suspect …

Is That Fabulous New Toy Safe?  —  The American International Toy Fair in New York City this week has offered the newest and most tantalizing playthings in the world: walking plastic bugs, 3-D coloring sets, even Barbie, now 50 and wearing a golden outfit for the occasion.

KNOWLEDGE MAY BE POWER, BUT INFORMATION IS PROFIT.  —  Doc-blogger Kevin Pho — no liberal, and no fan of government action — writes in defense of federally-funded comparative effectiveness research.  “Physicians need an authoritative source of unbiased data, untainted by the influence …

Accused Financier Under Federal Drug Investigation  —  Authorities: Stanford May Have Laundered Drug Money for Mexican Cartel  —  The SEC's fraud charges may be the least of accused financial scammer R. Allen Stanford's worries.  Federal authorities tell ABC News that the FBI and others …