“Have you ever had sex with Rick Perry?”  —  An Austin Ron Paul supporter has taken out a full-page ad in the local alt weekly newspaper seeking any “stripper ... escort ... or ‘young hottie’” who has slept with Rick Perry, part of his single-minded jihad against the presidential candidate.

When the United States says “jump,” Syria says....  So the big Middle East news this AM is that the Obama administration has explicitly called for Syrian leader Bashir Assad to leave power.  The White House blog has the full text of Obama's statement.  On Assad:

Coburn: Good thing I can't pack a gun  —  Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) ripped his colleagues during a tour of northeast Oklahoma, calling them “career elitists,” “cowards” and said, “It's just a good thing I can't pack a gun on the Senate floor.”  —  Coburn's gun-on-the- floor comment comes less …

West: I'll lead you off ‘plantation’  —  Rep. Allen West says he is a “modern-day Harriet Tubman” who wants to lead black voters away from the “plantation” of the Democratic Party.  —  There is a “21st century plantation” of African-American voters unwaveringly supporting Democrats …

A ‘policy-induced slowdown’  —  The markets are tanking.  Again.  And it's in part because they expect us to screw up.  Again.  —  That, at least, is what JP Morgan is saying.  Part of what's driving the market down is that the company announced that it was cutting its global growth forecasts …

BREAKING: Obama Administration To Conduct Case-By-Case Review Of Active Deportations  —  The Obama administration has announced a new process to review all 300,000 active deportation cases to ensure that they are contingent with the nation's enforcement priorities.

Jon Huntsman: The Outsider  —  Kate Moss:  —  Kiss Me, Kate  —  Photographed by Annie Leibovtiz  —  If you're looking for the most conservative region in America, upcountry South Carolina would be a strong contender.  Greenville, the area's biggest city, is home base to Senator Jim DeMint …

U.S. Inquiry Is Said to Focus on S.&P. Ratings  —  The Justice Department is investigating whether the nation's largest credit ratings agency, Standard & Poor's, improperly rated dozens of mortgage securities in the years leading up to the financial crisis, according to two people interviewed …

HP to Spin Off PCs, Eyes Software Purchase  —  Hewlett-Packard Co. (HPQ), the world's largest computer maker, said it is in talks to buy Autonomy Corp. and is exploring strategic options for its personal- computer business.  —  Hewlett-Packard will discontinue its line of products running …

Fight ends Georgetown basketball exhibition in China  —  BEIJING — What began as a goodwill trip to China for the Georgetown men's basketball team turned violent Thursday night, when its exhibition game against the Bayi Rockets deteriorated into a melee during which players exchanged blows …

Exclusive: Goldman Sachs VP Changed His Name, Now Advances Goldman Lobbying Interests As Top Staffer To Darrell Issa  —  Peter Haller, also known as Peter Simonyi, a former Goldman Sachs VP now working for Chairman Issa to block regulations on Goldman Sachs  —  Has Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) …

Chart of the Day: Student Loans Have Grown 511% Since 1999  —  You think the housing bubble was enormous?  Meet the education bubble.  On Wednesday, an article here by Andrew Hacker and Claudia Dreifus explained the debt crisis at American colleges.  But some startling statistics will help …

Michele Bachmann Is Not a Doctor  —  ...But she played one on TV.  The story behind the Minnesota congresswoman's bogus “Dr.” claim.  —  Post Comment  —  On the campaign trail in Iowa, Rep. Michele Bachmann's response to the argument that she lacks the experience to run for president has been to turn the argument on its head.

US bond yields hit record low on recession fears  —  WASHINGTON — US Treasury bond yields plunged Thursday, with the 10-year yield hitting a record low as worries about a new recession in the United States and Europe battered stock markets.  —  The 10-year Treasury yield fell to 1.974 percent …

Wrong Answers in Britain  —  Nothing can justify or excuse the terrifying wave of violent lawlessness that swept through London and other British cities earlier this month.  Hardworking people in struggling neighborhoods were its principal victims.  Public support for racial and ethnic coexistence …

Chris muscles Mike on 9/11 invite for pol  —  Hot-headed New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie yesterday threw his weight around to get his way for the upcoming 10th-anniver-  —  sary 9/11 ceremony after blasting Mayor Bloomberg for excluding ex-Jersey Gov. Donald DiFrancesco from the solemn event.