Jeffrey Epstein Autopsy Results Show He Hanged Himself in Suicide  —  Jeffrey Epstein Autopsy Results Conclude He Hanged Himself  — The findings from New York City's chief medical examiner refute conspiracy theories that Mr. Epstein may have been murdered.

Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.  —  COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump's hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.  —  “As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale …

Memo reveals a House Republican strategy on shootings: downplay white nationalism, blame left  —  The GOP memo falsely pinned the El Paso massacre and other notable mass shootings on the left.  —  Congressional Republicans recently circulated talking points on gun violence that falsely described …

Deadspin Editor Quits, Rails Against Bosses: 'I've Been Repeatedly Lied To and Gaslit'  —  The new bosses in charge of what used to be the Gawker network of websites have drastically upended the culture, Greenwell said, leaving her no choice but to resign.  —  Deadspin's editor in chief …

Trump phones supporter he mocked for having a ‘weight problem’  —  President Trump on Thursday called the man he mocked for having a “weight problem” at a New Hampshire rally earlier that evening after discovering he was a supporter.  —  A senior administration official said Friday …

Rachel Maddow's Racial Smear of Second Circuit Nominee Steven Menashi  —  In a 2010 law-review article titled “Ethnonationalism and Liberal Democracy,” Second Circuit nominee Steven Menashi argues that “ethnonationalism remains a common and accepted feature of liberal democracy that is consistent …

The Trump Administration Asked The Supreme Court To Legalize Firing Workers Just For Being Transgender  —  The Trump administration on Friday took one of its most agressive steps yet to legalize anti-transgender discrimination by telling the Supreme Court that federal law allows firing workers solely …

Trump's large union crowd at Shell was given the option of not showing up — and not getting paid  —  The choice for thousands of union workers at Royal Dutch Shell's petrochemical plant in Beaver County was to either spend Tuesday standing in a giant hall waiting for President Donald Trump to speak, or to take the day off with no pay.

Obama and Biden's Relationship Looks Rosy.  It Wasn't Always That Simple.  —  WASHINGTON — Barack Obama was riding his call for generational change to the Democratic presidential nomination in the spring of 2008 when he began musing about potential running mates with aides traveling with him on the trail.

Anthony Scaramucci talks to Bill Kristol about trying to force Trump off the GOP ticket in 2020  —  KEY POINTS  — Anti-Trump pundit and veteran GOP operative Bill Kristol confirmed to CNBC in a few brief text messages that he has spoken to Anthony Scaramucci since the SkyBridge Capital founder had a public falling out with Trump.

Recession signs worry Trump ahead of 2020  —  WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump is warning of an economic crash if he loses reelection, arguing that even voters who personally dislike him should base their ballots on the nation's strong growth and low unemployment rate.

Wells Fargo Closed Their Accounts, but the Fees Continued to Mount  —  Xavier Einaudi did not want to wait for Wells Fargo to send him a check.  —  The bank informed Mr. Einaudi that it was closing all 13 of the checking accounts it provided his roofing company, CRV Construction, for a reason it called “confidential.”

Trump's tax cut isn't giving the US economy the boost it needs  —  KEY POINTS  — Benefits from what President Trump called “the biggest reform of all time” to the tax code have dwindled to a faint breeze just 20 months after its enactment.  — Half of corporate chief financial officers surveyed …

The Limits of My Conservatism  —  In the first year of the Trump presidency, I had a very pleasant dinner with Michael Anton, the brilliant, bespoke Straussian who went to work for Trump's National Security Council for a while.  I wanted to talk to him about reactionism …

Ed Smart, father of kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart, announces he is gay  —  The father of five says he is leaving the Mormon church and has divorced his wife as he is “finally acknowledging a part of me that I have struggled with most of my life and never wanted to accept.”

NRA Spent Tens of Thousands on Hair and Makeup for CEO's Wife  —  The gun group used donor funds to fly Susan LaPierre's favorite stylists around the country and put them up in style.  —  The NRA spent tens of thousands of dollars bringing hair and makeup artists around the country for the wife of its CEO …

ICE raid separates 4-month-old baby from breastfeeding mom  —  A mother of three has been detained in the ICE raids.  Now, her husband, also undocumented, continues working and caring for their children.  —  Dad awaits his own deportation hearing  —  CONNECT

Here's what the NRA's Marion Hammer had to say about Florida's proposed assault weapons ban.  —  Spoiler: She's not a fan.  —  TALLAHASSEE — Florida National Rifle Association lobbyist Marion Hammer warned state economists Friday that a proposed assault rifle ban would be devastating …

Study: Too Many People Think Satirical News Is Real  —  In a news cycle full of clownish characters and outrageous rhetoric, it's no wonder satire isn't fully registering with a lot of readers.  —  Editors' note: The following article is from the academic-research site The Conversation.

Migrant kids separated at border faced abuse in foster homes  —  SANTA ANA, California (AP) — This story is part of an ongoing joint investigation between The Associated Press and the PBS series FRONTLINE on the treatment of migrant children, which includes an upcoming film.  —  ___

Exclusive: Russian Doctors Say They Weren't Warned Patients Were Nuclear Accident Victims  —  One doctor was reportedly later found to have a radioactive isotope in their muscle tissue.  —  The three injured men arrived at the hospital around 4:30 pm, naked and wrapped in translucent plastic bags.

A federal judge in D.C. hit ‘reply all,’ and now there's a formal question about his decorum  —  A clash between judges on two important federal courts in Washington has created an early, unusual test of new rules intended to make sure courthouses across the country are civil, harassment-free workplaces.

Citing Economy, Trump Says That ‘You Have No Choice but to Vote for Me’  —  MANCHESTER, N.H. — President Trump doubled down on his economic argument for re-election on Thursday night amid increasing concerns about a recession, declaring that even Americans who hate him “have no choice” …